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Laurel Hill Springs

The Tired Godling

  • "Please... Don't cc me on that."

    They go by Clem, short for Clemency. Once a virtue they bestowed, now a bureaucratic alias for HR purposes. Their true name is unpronounceable and forgotten by nearly all.

    Former minor deity, currently housed in a mortal shaped vessel (vaguely human, but a bit... Off).

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  • Character Info

    • Name: Clemency (formerly C̫͍͚͝l̢̝̰͙͟ē̙̞̘̼̹̘ṃ̢͖͍̻, The Devourer)
    • Preferred Name: Clem
    • Age: 8,000 to 12,000, depending on how you define 'calendar'.
    • Birthdate: ???
    • Race: Ex-God
    • Gender: Yes. (Male)
    • Pronouns: Uses he/him in the office to make things easier, but doesn't really care what you call him. He's been worshipped as a mother, a storm, and a very polite chair once or twice.
    • Physical Form: Physically appears 38-ish, spiritually ancient and over it.
    • Eyes: Golden Amber
    • Hair: Black, Messy, Sentient only on Mondays with a single grey streak that migrates depending on stress level.
    • Height: 6'3" (Slouches just enough to seem 5'11" when near authority figures.)
    • Weight: 143lbs
    • Additional Weight: 17lbs of Emotional Baggage & Yawns

  • Likes/Dislikes

    • Likes: Burnt Coffee, Silence, Dim Lighting, Filing Cabinets That Shut All The Way, Open Doors, Sincerity, Mismatched Socks, Dead Languages, Office Supplies With Just the Right Heft, Leaving Social Events Early
    • - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    • Dislikes: Fluorescent Lights, Group Chats, Meetings & Mandates, "Circling Back", Open Floor Plans, Prophecies, Clackidy Keyboards, Cultists, Small Talk That Becomes Conversation, Being Summoned via Branded Meditation Apps, Vending Machines That Eat Your Dollar and Your Dignity

  • Personality

    Clem is quietly dry witted, and always looks like he just got out of a very long meeting that started in 312 BC. He talks with the attitude of someone who's seen the end of times and the breakroom microwave explode. He prefers calm situations over confrontations, obscurity over spectacle, and coffee over basically anything.

    Despite being an ex-god, he doesn't act like one. There's no smugness or posturing, just a patient presence. He's naturally kind and merciful in that way that doesn't expect thanks, despite the fact that he constantly looks and sounds like he'd rather be doing anything else. He doesn't like to get involved, it's just not his department most of the time and he doesn't get paid for overtime.

    He avoids attention, escalations, and anything labeled 'mandatory fun'. If you see him in the hallway, he'll may nod as he passes, but he'll never stop to say hello first. He doesn't seem to judge, but he always seems to remember.

  • Skills

    • 1: Saying 'Mm' in a way that ends conversations.
    • 2: Locating the only working pen in a 5 mile radius.
    • 3: Remembering things no one should.
    • 4: Opening locked objects without touching them.
    • 5: Standing extremely still during emotionally charged situations.
    • 6: Making coffee taste marginally better with divine pity.
    • 7: Filing under obscure subcategories.
    • 8: Whispering curses in forgotten tongues during budget meetings.
    • 9: Folding paperwork so neatly it humbles the soul.

  • A Tired God

    Once, long long ago, Clem stood as a minor god of transition, a patient deity who governed all that passed between: Doorways, opportunities, dying promises, and second chances. He wasn't a god of glory, but one who watched over the quiet moments that went unnoticed. Most, even to this day, don't know what he actually did to deserve the right to be called a god, as he has seemingly no notable great powers. He lived within thresholds, both literal and metaphorical, and watched as lives turned with the opening or closing of something.

    For a long time, that mattered.

    But as the world grew louder, faster, and more self assured, the spaces between things thinned. Few left offerings in doorways, fewer still asked forgiveness. The divine network he was bound to shifted and modernized, eventually to be forgotten. No longer a god in full, Clemency didn't die. Gods like him faded into obscurity known as civilian life.

    Now, he works somewhere deep in a bureaucratic tangle of the paranormal and the practical at Ecliptica Mutual primarily in the Claims and Compliance Department, helping catalogue and contain the metaphysical echoes of the world's messes. He drinks terrible coffee all day long and is tired in a way humans can't perceive.

    While he's now on that 9-5 grind, his presence still changes things in unexpected ways. Locked doors tend to unlock as he passes, with no wind or explanation, and his existence is banned between floors -404 through -808 within the Ecliptica Mutual office building. Conversations often stall for a second too long when someone is about to lie. Elevators misremember their destinations and take people towards new and unexpected opportunities. It isn't that he intends these things, they simply happen around him as if the world can't quite forget what he once was. Some say he's something of a good luck charm, others say he's a curse. Either way, it got him his own office.

  • INVENTORY

    • Clipboard of Infinite Pages: Appears mundane but keeps records accurately, including things that aren't visible to others. The pages never run out, and no one has ever seen him flip one over.
    • Company Issued Pen: What looks like a very nice, sleek pen, with a crescent shaped logo. Writes in black or red ink.
    • Personal Timekeeper: A pocket watch which seems perpetually stuck on 2:48. Clem will always insist it works fine and will always know the exact time while looking at it.
    • Emergency Sandwich (Wrapped): A simple ham sandwich with lettuce, tomato, onions, mustard, and a slice of yellow cheese, wrapped in plastic. It's always in his left pocket and doesn't seem to ever rot.
    • Laminated ID Badge: Access Level (??) - The badge is always outdated looking, and completely illegible to all non-Ecliptica Mutual Personnel.
    • Ecliptica Issued Glasses: Standard issue glasses that mask unnatural eye effects, making Clem's glowing gaze appear normal to humans. Purely cosmetic for PR compliance.

  • Clipboard of Infinate Pages

    • ZQ-390-58 Occurrence Zone EA-14158925433 Timeline 8,950,211.04.07 January 1st 2025, 11:48 am

      𝘊𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦. 𝘗𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘣𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵. 𝘔𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘣𝘰𝘹 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥. 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘳. 𝘋𝘰𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘣𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘤 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦. 𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘶𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺. 𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯. 𝘌𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘱 𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳. 𝘍𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥. 𝘈𝘪𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵. 𝘎𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘢 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘯-𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤. 𝘛𝘰𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴. 𝘔𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘰. 𝘔𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵. 𝘌𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘪 𝘰𝘧 𝘗𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘦 𝘗𝘰𝘴𝘵-𝘔𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘛𝘪𝘦𝘳-0 𝘕𝘰𝘯-𝘌𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘥. 𝘚𝘶𝘣𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘦𝘹𝘩𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩-𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘗𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 '𝘒𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯-𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴' 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘥. 𝘐𝘯𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘬: 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘭, 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦. 𝘗𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘥: 47%. 𝘗𝘰𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘥. 𝘔𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘈𝘨𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘒𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘩𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘤 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘻𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘴-𝘧𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦. 𝘈𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭: 𝘔𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘋𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦.